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I used to hate this more than I do.

One thing I've had brought home to me, over recent years, is just how much pressure anti-gay prejudice inflicts on gay men in particular. It's probably more common than not for teenage boys, panicked over what life will be like if they admit to themselves or anyone else that they're gay, to bargain with God: let me marry a woman so attractive that even I'm attracted to her, and I'll never look at another man ever again so long as I live. And then not be able to live up to that promise.

Bob Heinlein said, in The Moon is Harsh Mistress, that nobody ever proposes that the government outlaw something that they're doing, only the stuff that their neighbors are doing that they don't like, but I've come to see that he was wrong about that. There are a lot of gay men who hate it when they lust after (or actually have sex with) men, and who believe the classic American superstition that says that anybody can do anything if you threaten them enough, who actually think that if they succeed in making it punitive enough to be gay, that'll finally stop them from being gay. If it weren't for the damage they inflict on others, I'd be able to pity them for it; as it is, I hate them not for the gay cheating on their wives, but for the laws themselves whether they're cheating on their wives or not. (Although most of them are. Nobody else cares enough to run on this issue, any more.)

And what do you feel for someone who didn't even know he was gay, who was a late maturer, who never fell in love with anybody in his life until after he went into a career that's closed off to gay men, like the ministry or American politics? Do you expect that man to give up his career? Isn't it far more likely he's going to feel that he has no choice but to lie?

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