A couple of years ago I had a vision of how to (a) solve a lot of problems in my community, (b) create a sustainable Pagan temple, and not incidentally, (c) provide me with my dream job, namely full time custodian at such a temple. Among the volunteers I had, it was known as Project Toadstool, as a slant-wise acronym for The Temple of Dionysus at St. Louis The vision was in two parts, one theological and one practical, and I still think that it would have worked. Out of vanity, I almost gave a summarized version of the pitch all over again, to explain why I thought it would work. However, that would be beside the point, because today's point is this: I give up.
When I started it, people asked me if it I thought it would actually happen, and I said, "If it's not of the God, then it'll never happen, but no money changed hands so it was just a harmless hobby. If it is of the God, nothing can stop it." Why? Well, all through the Iliad there's a metaphor that gets used over and over again: "winged words." It's one of the surest signs that your friend has been replaced by a God in disguse, or that a God has moved your friend to speak without knowing quite what he was saying, when the words seem to fly right out of their mouth and into your heart, and inspire you irresistably to action.
It could have worked, but it would have needed a better motivator than me, a better leader than me, or else it would have needed more direct intervention from a god. Any time I sat down or stood with someone and gave them the pitch, I got what I wanted out of them. But how many of those people went on to sell it to their friends and acquaintances? Zero. So, not going to happen. No big deal. But it's a reminder that I'm better off at solo projects (like writing), because I just don't have what it takes to inspire people to spend their time working on my dreams.
(In the meantime, the three worthwhile essays that I wrote for dionysus_at_stl were migrated into my own journal, backdated, and the community itself has been shut down. Now, if I can only keep writing now that I have Neocron reinstalled ...)